|some favourite smells
||[24 May 2012|03:39am]
Sweet Pea flowers
Leftover bonfire smell in hair or clothes
Smoke on breeze from burning wood
Smokey old pubs/bars (sadly no more)
Dry pine in a damp forest
Warm wet days
The smell of chlorine on your hand when u lick it a few hours after you’ve been swimming.
Lots of old smells, like the leisure centre and ice rink i used to go to as a kid
Charlottes house, making myself remember it, i can everyone used to have different smells and so did their houses. They still do but back then it really distinguished people for me. Lots of peoples houses from my childhood maybe, and some old school time smells too.
Lossiemouth and the beaches
Certain types of rubber/plastic usually used for toys
The underside of skalextric cars when they’re been racing round the track
The smell between fingers after smoking a cigarette
|things i got in the mail last week
||[02 Mar 2010|02:43pm]
1. Diana Walker "The Bigger Picture" book
2. a green and black rock vaguely shaped like the state of california
3. a letter from a friend in the state of california
4. bag of raw pumpkin seeds
5. several japanese stamps
6. a bright pink and blue feather
7. a card from grandma
9. Dylan Thomas "Do Not Go Gentle Into That Good Night" poem
10. boxful of rooibos tea
11. a plastic recorder
12. a limited edition framed collectible X-Files print
13. Matteah Baim "Death of the Sun" vinyl record
14. an exploded carrot cake
15. a piece of fossilized coral
16. several foreign coins (from korea and brazil)
17. a mixed CD
18. a hand-sewn shirt
|(what should be simple) ways to better my condition
||[09 Nov 2007|11:16am]
1. waking up is quickly followed by getting out of bed
2. getting out of bed is quickly followed by making the bed, getting clean and dressed
3. writing down your dreams
4. eating a breakfast, lunch and dinner
5. eating is quickly followed by cleaning the dishes just used
6. using discernment in your media intake. do not be deluged in meaningless images
7. taking up crossword puzzles
8. making time each day for real human contact, speaking from the inward mouth not the reflexive tongue
9. writing every day
10. using discernment in all relationships. asking, can i really count on, can i be really honest with, can i even stand this person?
11. getting a job. there is some satisfaction in chores
12. accepting so many daily evils. no one can make you suffer through this life but you
13. brushing your teeth as you should
14. never forgetting your pills
||[04 Sep 2007|04:18pm]
pink & yellow bicycles with floral accessories
vanilla-flavoured Pink Elephant cigarettes
a hash spliff and Earl Grey..
..or a zoot of Laughing Buddha with fruit smoothie
ham & cheese pancakes
lazy pedalos and zzzzzzzs.
8g second hole
|i love them more than anyone else.
||[01 Sep 2007|11:13pm]
. a postcard from switzerland
. a five-sided box of wishes
. mexican dresses
. kisses on the cheek
. moths and katydids
. the black iron foot-bridge
. waterfalls among the trees
. endless cups of tea
. the river at night
. barbed-wire fences and leaf mold
. almost truth & bone
. four giraffes
. a quickly-doodled heart
. freshly-baked brownies
. jars of peanut butter
. desperate late-night phone calls
. eyes hiding lies
|i gotta have faith:
||[03 Aug 2007|09:35pm]
parts of songs i really like:
+ when the drums begin
+ right before they plunge into the chorus
+ that difficult difficult second verse
+ the banjos, the handclaps
+ the sudden wordplay; one letter makes a world of difference
+ when all music drops out & she sings the final verse like a breath, like a secret
||[16 Jul 2007|08:51pm]
--once i slept with a man who learned to play chess in prison after being sentenced for biting
another man's nose off
--he told me i had beautiful teeth before i ran off to the bathroom to vomit
--he wasn't the first or the last gentleman to remark upon the quality of my chompers
--a dog nearly bit my nose off last night
--neither the dog nor i know how to play chess
--a bite to the nose induces nausea
--or maybe it's just all that blood
||[16 Jul 2007|03:05pm]
"things traditionally impenetrable by x-ray vision"
the furthest wall from the viewer in a building
||[01 Jul 2007|06:02pm]
x; the Hessian wolf-children (1341)
x; the Bamberg boy, who grew up among cattle (late 1500s)
x; the three Lithuanian bear-boys
x; Peter the Wild Boy of Hamelin
x; the Wild Girl of Champagne (1724)
x; the Hungarian bear-girl (1767)
x; The wild man of Kronstadt
x; Victor of Aveyron, found wandering in the woods, learned only the words 'lait' & 'oh dieu'
x; Kaspar Hauser
x; Oxana Malaya, Ukraine, raised with dogs until the age of 9
x; Belo, the Nigerian Chimp Boy, 2 yrs old
|inspired! to hell and back, and back again, and back again
||[26 Jun 2007|07:02pm]
OH WOW HOW GREAT:
GREAT THINGS I HAVE DONE RECENTLY
- completed first tour of the united states w/ rock and roll band
- reorganized closet into 'pretty party dress' 'coat' and 'msc shoe/purse/sweater'
- donated everything that didn't feel like impeccable librarian-cupcake baker-socialite-fairy princess-provocateur stylee
- donated some of the stuff that did, just to give sexy/enlightened hope to thrifting hands
- gone days without showering/go unnoticed thank god
- made love-backseat-the parking lot of a seventh day adventist church
- had polaroid taken in diner w/ barbecue all over my face
- forgot how to wear makeup/tweeze eyebrows
- dissected/salvaged my oldest bicycle, showed it new love by riding it around drunk
- took the labrador out for a drive every night to let him terrorize geese
- made red velvet cake w/ milk chocolate frosting- scratch
MOST IMPORTANT THINGS I HAVE DONE RECENTLY
- bought plane ticket to seattle to reunite w/love of my life
- made sure it was a one way ticket
|Instead, you will:
||[05 May 2007|01:18pm]
- Radiohead - new material, especially Arpeggi
- dusty, bloom-strewn sides in the afternoon sun
- this and that; those creative projects of nothing - you even count your essay
- temporary kisses; boys who won't change city anytime soon
- boys who won't graduate, boys who don't love, boys who won't ask
- you: be quiet, buoyant, selfpreserving
||[30 Mar 2007|10:56pm]
a list of things left unsaid:
- I love you
- I love you
- I love you
- I love you
- I love you
- I love you
- down the stairs, ocean foam spinning about graceful legs
- eyes sparkling like misted moonlight
- counting the stars and hoping you wished on the right one
- avoiding the ringing of the twelfth hour and holding tightly to those glassy slippers
- and the evening sets
||[16 Mar 2007|09:39am]
- I remember that morning, opening the blinds to snow. Like white feathers, it was falling. I was the luckiest child, to saw it when it was heartwrenchingly amazing. I was so happy. I was so in love with God. I felt a little bit sad for you because I would never love you this much. I just started to cry, but, God, I was so glad to be crying, overwhelmed.
- and the sky
- and the sky on and on
||[10 Mar 2007|12:14pm]
- lack of
cocktails, cinnamon, chiffon, antiquity, bouquet, idealism, untouched, wave, semantics, faith, dawn, fresco, love, benefit, bamboo, circle, museum, architecture, pulse, distance, independence, talent, danger, thunder, theory, trajectory, magnitude, dolphin, subtlety, theatre, loyalty, stars, blues, eyebrow, lace, harmony, fear, writer, rituals, frustration, thought.
||[04 Mar 2007|09:13am]
x; I miss eating miso soup with stolen chopsticks and drinking umeshu from mugs on the balcony of the dohokan with my friends in the sweltering heat in Kyoto.
x; I miss drinking rose tea on the roof of a house in the Muslim quarter of Granada on my twentieth birthday, even though it was only six weeks ago.
x; I miss every article of lingerie that has ever blown away or was stolen from my clothesline.
x; I miss riding a motorbike through herds of water buffalo and pink water lilies in between mountain ranges down a long, straight road.
x; I miss being lost in the white, narrow labyrinths of Carmona, Cordoba, other nameless cities.
x; I miss stickily sleeping with him in the heat.
x; I miss the night he played cello for me in his kitchen.
x; I miss sleeping on a white beach during a storm in Tasmania.
x; I miss the hazy, red-lit skyline of Tokyo.
x; I miss everytime he pulled off the Autobahn just to kiss my sleeping head when I was jetlagged.
I miss it all so much my crimson heart just swells like a sail.
||[07 Jan 2007|08:41pm]
i.put on your red shoes
ii. dance the blues
iii. while colour lights up your face
iv. through the crowd to an empty space
If you say run,
I'll run with you!
If you say hide,
Because my love for you
would break my heart in two,
if you should fall
into my arms
& tremble like a flower!
Dance; Sway, etc
i. for fear your grace should fall
ii. for fear tonight is all
iii. you could look into my eyes
the moonlight the serious moonlight
If you say run, &etc. etc. etc. ... ...
|i want to
||[29 Dec 2006|03:41am]
- see everything & nothing.
- start to draw everything beautiful around me.
- kiss my love when he cries and say i love you.
- hear the words i believe i am falling in love with you.
- build a mansion in rwanda for an african orphanage.
- publish a novel named a city who cries and sings at the same time.
- write a poem about the world which is in love with a girl named lilja.
- to take photographs of people in sudan & india & burma & paraguay.
- buy a kite , put my all sadness & sorrow on it, and watch it when it flies on the sky.
- be in a colour hot air balloon with a person who loves me, with whom i am in love.
- teach creative writing & photography & theatre to the children of the third world and tell them, that everything will go fine.
- talk with new york city, tell her everything about myself and listen with it tells stories about the people who have fallen in love with her.
- to show an play in paris & london & rome & moscow & johannesburg & sydney & los angeles & bueno aires & new delhi. actresses and actors would be the children of the third world.
- make letters to people who i have never met and give them to strangers on the streets of toronto, so they could remember me as "a person who gave them a letter which was filled up with beautiful words".
- believe in myself & the world. believe that the things what i want are not unrealistic or optimistic. believe that someday i will fall in love with someone. believe that i can do everything what i want to. believe that i am strong enough. believe that the world loves me.
fifteen things what i want. another fifteen million to write.
||[08 Dec 2006|08:35pm]
things that mean sadness sometimes, and love othertimes:
- ocean, coming from and returning to
- constellations, moon-phases
- falling stars & comets
- passing the bakery and thinking of you
- streetlights in the puddles just after a rainy night
- being curled under a blanket
- seeing you in a line of poetry
- the way the phone rings in the hallway
- how the weather forecast says "the same, the same" until friday
- jeff buckley
- footsteps in the hallway, and knowing they aren't yours
- quiet breakfasts
- windows fogging, on their own or with help from our breaths
||[26 Nov 2006|05:50pm]
be a good girl
forget that night